Fallen
by ButterflyGirl89
Summary: Elliot's family dies in a terrible car accident leaving him alone and angry. He turns to drink. The temper he has tried to keep under contorl over the years finally errupts. He's violent and out of control which Olivia learns the hard way. May offend some
1. Chapter 1

**This isn't a very long story, only a few chapters. Takes place around the newest series. It all done and typed up so updates will be posted as soon as I get some reviews. Hint hint.**

**Thanks.**

**Summary: Years of Elliot holding back on his temper finally come to a stand still. After a huge row with Kathy, who tells Elliot she and all the children are moving to France, Elliot is left angry and alone. When he is then told that his entire family have been killed in a car accident on the way to the airport, his world is turned upside down. He's beside himself with grief and guilt. But that guilt quickly turns to anger, anger that is fueld by alcohol and an even darker anger that is pointed at someone who would never have imagined what her partner's anger was really capable of.**

**WARNING: This is a total Elliot is an drunken ass story. Don't read if you don't like it. We all know Elliot would never really hurt Olivia in the show but you all have to admit the man has sometimes come close to looking like he would, plus this is fan fiction, anything can happen. Sorry if this story offends some people but I'm going to try and keep Elliot in character as much as I can except for the whole violence towards Olivia thing.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. They all belong to Dick Wolf.**

**Fallen**

**Chapter 1**

Elliot stood back, silent, watching as the last coffin was lowered down. It was Kathy's, in with her was little Eli. Elliot couldn't bare the thought of putting his youngest in a coffin all alone. After all, Eli had never liked the dark.

As he watched he didn't cry, not one tear. He'd already lost his family so what was there to cry for, crying wouldn't bring them back. He couldn't go back in time and stop things from happening. He couldn't bring them back somehow.

He also couldn't help thinking that he couldn't hurt them now. His, not returning home from work most nights and hardly calling or seeing the kids couldn't affect them anymore. His broken promises couldn't be made anymore.

He wasn't about to cry, but he wasn't about to stick around either. He dropped the dirt in his hand down onto the coffin, the sound of it hitting the wood sent shivers up his spine. Quickly, he turned on his heels and made his way through the crowd of family and friends behind him.

As he walked he didn't look up because truth was he didn't want to see where he was going, he had nowhere to go. _His family was gone._

As he continued walking the thunder began to crack in the sky, the rain to fall and the lightening followed.

- - - - - -

Elliot was sat in his cold, quiet apartment. He was sat with only the lamp light beside him. In his hand he had a glass of whiskey and the practically empty bottle sat on the coffee table in front of him.

He looked up when he heard a knock, but quickly looked back down, deciding he didn't want visitors. However, when another knock followed he pushed himself up, the huge amount of alcohol in his system making him sway and stager.

He made his way slowly over to the door. Finally he opened it. "What?" he said to his partner, who now stood in front of him.

"I came to see how you were." Olivia said. She knew today had been the day of the funeral and the fact he was still in his shirt and black trousers only made the whole sad day more real. "El…" she began.

"Whatever you have to say, I don't wanna hear." he slurred as he turned and tried to slam the door shut.

Olivia caught it and pushed it back open, stepping inside even as he stumbled back over to the couch. Straight away she could see the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table, and the empty bottles of alcohol that littered the kitchen.

"I see you've taken up drinking?" she said sarcastically, even if she knew now wasn't the time for it.

"Who are you, my mother?" he slurred as he picked up the bottle from the coffee table and drunk the rest straight from it.

"You think this is gonna help, Elliot? You think this is how your family would want you to carry on?" she scolded.

"Don't you talk about them, you have no right to talk about them!" he barked, pointing his finger angrily at her.

"And you think losing them gives you the right to drink yourself to death. Elliot, you forget, I know what alcohol can do to a person and how quickly it can take over them." she said as she walked over to him, "Please, don't let it take over you." she said as she stroked his arm, trying to comfort him.

He simply slapped her hand away. "I don't need your pity." he said walking around her and into the kitchen.

"I do not pity you El, I'm worried about you." she said truthfully.

"Well I don't need you to worry about me either!" he yelled, "I just need you to get lost and leave me alone."

"So you can continue getting drunk?"

"Get out!" he yelled.

"Elliot, you need to talk to someone, Huang."

"I'm not crazy!" he yelled at her.

It was beginning to piss her off the way he kept yelling at her. "No one is saying that, Elliot. We are all just worried about you."

"You're talking about me?" he asked, glaring at her.

"We're your friends. We're worried about you."

"You're not worried about me you just want me to come back to work. What's the matter, Liv? Can't cope by yourself?"

"Oh Elliot grow up. This isn't about me it's about you…"

"Not about you. It's your god damn fault all this happened!" he yelled even louder as he slowly walked towards her, getting closer and closer.

"My fault?" she asked, shocked and hurt.

"Kathy always knew about you. You were the reason our marriage fell apart," he was right in front of her now and still moving, giving her no other option but to move backwards. "You are the reason my kids hated me," he said as Olivia backed up right into a wall, "You are the reason my baby hardly knows me and will never know me!" he yelled right in her face, punching the wall right next to her face.

Olivia flinched but stayed silent for a second, trying to push everything he had just said to her out of her head.

"Truth hurts doesn't it?" he smirked.

As tears filled her eyes she couldn't take anymore of him. She pushed him back and tried to side step him, but he quickly grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back against the wall. It hurt like hell but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing it. Instead she tried to push him away again.

"Move!" she insisted as she continued trying to push him away from her, the alcohol on his breath was sending her dizzy. "Elliot back off!" she yelled as she used her whole body to push him back, managing to, but not enough to be able to get away from him.

Once more he quickly pushed her back against the wall, this time grabbing her wrists and pinning them on the wall next to her shoulders, causing her unnecessary discomfort.

This time she couldn't hold the look of pain in and a whimper escaped her lips. The look of satisfaction on his face made her want to throw up. Drunk or not this wasn't the Elliot she knew.

"Isn't this how you always wanted me?" he asked, his face right in hers, making her turn to the side so she didn't have to look at him. Elliot wasn't impressed. He wanted her looking at him so she knew just how serious he was being.

Using a new tactic he pressed his entire body against hers. Olivia couldn't help but look at him as she felt him against her thigh. The sickening evidence of how much he was enjoying this made her tears begin to fall.

"El, get off me, please." she begged, not caring if she sounded desperate, she just wanted him away from her.

Elliot glared at her for a moment, his eyes checking out every inch of the seriousness and fear on her face. Without giving it a second thought he crashed his lips down on hers. It was a hard kiss. One that clearly showed him marking what he thought was his to mark.

As he pulled away he let go of her and moved to stand by the kitchen cabinet, picking up another bottle of whiskey, Olivia didn't even notice it was empty, she just quickly pushed herself away from the wall and walked over to the door.

She'd just put her hand on the door handle when she felt a hard sharp pain in her head. The sound on breaking glass was deafening. _She was out in seconds._ Elliot dropped the rest of the bottle just in time to catch her in his arms. He then quickly scooped her up.

"Sorry about that." he said with a smirk, "Sort of." he laughed….

**TBC**

**So what do you think? Intrigued? Please let me know. Like I said this isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea but still, let me know what your view is.**

**Thanks so much.**

**More will be posted as soon as I get some reviews**.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for all the reviews I have received so far. I'm so glad so many of you have given this story a chance. It's so very greatly appreciated. _Truly._**

**I won't lie and say things are going to get better from now on, they're not. What I will say is please don't give up this, even if your start thinking "as if, never happen," please just keep reading to the end. It won't be a long story, so you wouldn't have to read loads more. Only a couple of chapters to go now.**

**Anyway, thanks again to every single person and a huge thanks to everyone who reviewed and added alerts and stuff. You all rock!**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

**Chapter 2**

As soon as Olivia came to she wished she hadn't. The throbbing pain in her head was nauseating. She could feel something warm trickling down her neck. She could only guess it was blood. She tried to reach up and check, but her arms were stuck. She looked down, only to find she was sat in a chair, rope all around her body, she couldn't budge an inch it had all been tied so tight.

She tried to move her hands again but the familiar clanking sound of metal told her they were cuffed. Still she tried to pull her hands free, not willing to give up just yet. The cold sharp metal immediately dug into her flesh, bruising and cutting.

"You're not going anywhere." she heard.

She looked around to see Elliot standing behind her in the kitchen, another bottle of whiskey in his hands. She was in the middle of the living room but she could smell it from there._ Disgusting_.

"What the hell did you do to me?" she asked.

"I cracked open a bottle of whiskey on your head." he told her simply with a smirk. "Only way I could get you to stay."

The coldness behind it made her laugh nervously. He didn't seem to care that he had knocked her unconscious and left her bleeding. "Why the hell am I tied up here?!" she yelled, quickly regretting it, and the pain, it caused her head.

"Because…I wasn't done talking to you just yet." Elliot said as he now stepped in front of her and sat down on the coffee table which was right in front of her.

He held out his arm that had a glass of whiskey in it. "Want some?" he asked with a smile.

She just shook her head, not to say no, just in pure disgust. Elliot threw his arm out again, causing the contents of the glass to splash out at Olivia, hitting her in the face.

Elliot just laughed and stood up. He took hold of her face and held it firmly in place as he then licked the whiskey off her face. Olivia wanted to gag. She pulled her face back, ignoring the pain of his nails digging into her flesh, trying to keep it there. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you doing this Elliot? Let me go!"

"NO! I'm suffering so why shouldn't you be as well?" he yelled.

It annoyed her that he was back to yelling at her like she was some small child.

"Elliot, I didn't kill your family and I didn't send them away. You did a pretty good job at screwing up yourself!" she yelled, not meaning the harsh way it sounded.

However, it was too late and what followed shocked her more than the bottle crashing down on her head had. The back of Elliot's hand hit her face hard. His rough knuckles cutting her soft flesh. Her head whipped to the side, causing a harsh burning pain in her neck. The tears that fell were uncontrollable. Slowly she turned back to look at him.

Elliot looked at the blood trickling down her face from a cut on her cheek and her now bust nose. "Don't you talk about my family." he warned her before falling down into the couch and continuing to swig whiskey from the new bottle.

Olivia turned away and silently continued trying to free her hands from the cuffs, trying desperately to hold her tears back.

- - - - - -

It hadn't taken Elliot long to fall into a drunken sleep. Olivia used this time to pull on the cuffs, but all it was getting her though was cut wrists and causing more pain to her head. The nausea feeling was creeping back up on her with a vengeance.

She still continued trying to break free, however, she was trying so hard that she never saw Elliot wake up, nor did she realize he was watching her.

"Got somewhere you need to be?" he asked, startling her.

She stopped her efforts and just looked at him. "You weren't much company passed out."

Elliot just laughed, "Have you always used sarcasm to cover up your fear?" he asked.

"You always get drunk to solve your problems." she spat back. Clearly his drunken nap had done nothing to sober him up any. She sighed heavily and tried to ignore his annoying nonsense.

"Come on Liv, enlighten me. You can't be that scared of me. You've seen me pissed off before. Hell, you've had me scream at the top of my lungs in your face before, and you must be used to being around drunken people." he said.

Still she ignored him, or at least tried, but when he moved to sit right in front of her again she had little option but to hear him. "Why is it people are drunk when they're around you?" he asked her.

She turned away from him, not willing to give him the satisfaction of an answer. He quickly turned her face back so she was looking at him. "Well?" he asked.

"What is it you want from me, huh? Or do you just need someone new to punch, knock around and yell at. What's the matter, beating up the perps not as fun as it used to be?" she said, this time her voice cold.

Elliot glared at her, however, before he had time to speak again she said, "I need to go the bathroom."

"Tough." Elliot told her.

"Elliot, I gotta pee." she told him firmly. "Now,"

"Fine," Elliot said before moving behind her to remove the rope.

- - - - - -

It had taken Elliot ages to get all the ropes off her and then it had taken her five minutes to persuade him to take the cuffs off as well, after having informed him of just how difficult it would be to try to have a pee with her hands cuffed behind her back. He may have drunk a hell but he wasn't about to offer to help.

Finally she was inside the bathroom, alone. She quickly locked the door and stepped back. Her heart suddenly began pounding in her chest and tears appeared without warning. She couldn't hold the sobs in either as she fell apart. She felt like she was in some dream. Some awful dream that she would wake up from any minute now. But even when she tried closing then opening her eyes she found herself locked in Elliot's bathroom. _This was reality, hard and cold._

Brushing away the tears and holding back the sobs, she began to compose herself. She walked over to the sink and found a cloth she could wet. She used the cloth to wipe her tear stained face. However, as the cloth brushed along the cut on her face she decided she should look in the mirror, check out the damage.

The moment she saw herself the tears threatened to fall again but coming through stronger was the nausea, she quickly turned on her heels and dashed over to the toilet. She fell to her knees and leaned over, emptying her stomach out into the toilet.

After a minute she pulled herself up. She then flushed the chain. Next she moved back over to the mirror. Once more she grabbed the cloth, this time to try and clean the blood off her face.

Starting with her nose she dabbed at the blood till it was gone. Her nose hurt like hell, and bruising was already forming across the whole side of her face, making it all look as bad as it felt. She then cleaned up the small cut on her cheek. That however, refused to stop bleeding, even if it was only slight.

She then turned her attention to the blood on her neck. Using the cloth she wiped it away. She could still feel warm blood trickling down her neck though so she guessed the damage was quite bad there.

Throwing the bloodied cloth back into the sink, she looked around. The only door led back into the living room, where Elliot stood waiting for her. She looked around and saw a small window, it was tiny and there was no way she would fit through it, well at least not without a very difficult struggle.

A knock on the door almost made her jump out of her skin. "I'm not finished yet." she called.

"Yeah you are." Elliot told her.

She tired to ignore him but he began pounding on the door. Now was as good a time as any she figured. The window was high up so to get anywhere near it she had to climb up onto the bath tub. She quickly unlocked the window and began pulling on it but it was jammed tight. Shampoo bottles, aftershave and shaving foam and others cosmetics littered the small window sill. With no other option she pushed them all off, sending them all crashing noisily to the floor.

She tugged on the window until finally it opened knocking her down off of the bath. Quickly she pushed herself up, ignoring Elliot yelling at her and pounding on the door. She quickly climbed back up onto the bath and reached up to the window. She put her arms through it and tried to pull her body up.

She heard a loud crash behind her. She guessed it was the door being crashed down by Elliot. She continued trying to pull herself through the window but Elliot, who had indeed broke down the door, grabbed hold of her shirt and yanked her down, catching her before she hit the floor. _For what good it did._

He dragged her out of the bathroom and swung her round before letting go of her, this time letting her crash to the floor. Not wasting anytime she pushed herself back up. Ignoring the pain her body felt. Trying to put space between them she ran round the front of the couch.

Elliot walked over to her and she began circling the couch, desperately trying to keep distance between them. "Elliot, you're drunk. You don't really want to hurt me." she began, hoping to talk some sense into him.

"Don't tell me what I want!" he yelled as he pulled his gun out of his belt.

Olivia put her hands up where he could see them. She was scared shitless. She was scared of whoever this person was who had taken over Elliot. Not for the first time in her life she was seeing what grief could do to a person, how it could change them, especially when they were intoxicated.

"Elliot, please." she said, speaking calmly and softly.

"Don't give me that I won't make any sudden movements around a crazy guy holding a gun shit!" Elliot yelled, "I'm not crazy Liv, that's what makes this so much more interesting." he said with a slight laugh.

"El, please, just put the gun down. Please." she begged.

"No." he said, once more with a laugh, this one much clearer and much more noticeable.

"El, I know you're not crazy, you just lost your family, you're grieving but you have to put the gun down," Olivia began again. Elliot was shaking his head, seemingly ignoring her. "El…" she shouted.

This time Elliot shot, the bullet buried itself into the wall behind Olivia. "Shut up." Elliot warned her, "Come here." he said to her as he stepped next to the chair and picked up the rope. "We're not done talking, you can't leave yet, you can't leave _me_ yet!" he yelled wildly.

Olivia wished her gun was still on her belt but he had taken it, probably whilst she had been unconscious. She'd be at a much better advantage if she had her gun. She quickly glanced over at the front door_. It didn't seem that far away._ She wondered if she could run over to it fast enough without Elliot being able to turn and aim at her. She prayed he was drunk enough to not be able to aim, not to be able to hit her.

So much of her wanted to stay but he was being too unpredictable, it wasn't safe, not whilst he was drunk, but she really didn't want him being alone like this. She had to go to go get help.

Being her only option she ran, moving faster than she ever had. She got to the door and began fumbling with the locks. Another shot rang out. This bullet hit the wall right next to her. She quickly continued fumbling with the locks and finally got the door open. She could hear Elliot running up behind her. She'd only just stepped into the hall when another shot rang out, this time she felt pain in her side. _She instantly knew she'd been hit by that bullet_.

She fell into the wall with a yelp. In too much pain to move she slumped down the wall. There was nothing she could do as Elliot took hold of her and carried her back inside the apartment.

**TBC**

**Let me know what you think.**

**Like I said it would get worse. Next chapter will show if Elliot really is evil or if he is just totally grief stricken and drunk.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks so so much for all the reviews. I still really appreciate you guys sticking this out.**

**So, I think some people are expecting a rape scene or some sort of attempted rape scene, maybe it's just the sexual tension that you want to see. So I have re adjusted this chapter a little to add some of that sexual tension. I wouldn't want to disappoint your expectations.**

**Disclaimer: Once again they're still not mine.**

**Chapter 3**

Elliot had dragged Olivia over to the couch where she had collapsed in pain. She was holding her side, trying to slow the bleeding by adding pressure. It didn't work, the blood just seeped through her fingers. She tried to add more pressure but that just added more pain.

Elliot walked past her and threw a cloth at her before he began pacing up and down behind the couch, behind Olivia. "Press down." he told her, _like she wasn't already._

She tried pressing down more but her body knew it would mean more pain and therefore didn't seem to allow her to do it. She tried to sit up but it was too much of an effort, a very painful effort.

Instead she took hold of the cloth and placed it over the wound on her side, adding as much pressure as she could, which by now wasn't much at all. Her brain simply refused to tell her hands to push down, seemingly knowing that pain would only follow.

Elliot saw his partners struggle. He quickly grabbed another cloth and walked over to her. He fell to his knees next to her. Olivia was almost in too much pain to notice. He grabbed her attention when he placed the new cloth down on her bleeding wound.

She cried out in pain, pinching his arm, which rested across her stomach, as a way to cope with it. Elliot didn't mind. He knew he deserved all she could give him. He pressed down harder, making her scream out in pain even louder. She quickly began crying, tears of pain, staining her face. She covered her face with her hands as she cried, smearing it with blood.

"You'll bleed to death if I don't do this." Elliot growled at her. He still couldn't let go of the anger, even if he still hadn't truly worked out why it was aimed at his bleeding partner.

Olivia felt round against her back, when she pulled her hand back round, holding it up in front of her face it was drenched in blood. "I'm bleeding through." she told him.

He'd guessed that though without needing to be told, but he really knew he had to do something about it, quickly. He pulled her up, ignoring her cries of pain. He pulled her arm up around his neck before pulling her up to her feet. He tried just helping her to walk but it was too painful for her.

So, he scooped her up. She held on to him with her arm around his neck, her other hand still resting over her wound. She barely even noticed when Elliot carried her into the bedroom, that is, until he put her down on the bed before pulling his shirt off.

Her heart suddenly began to pound, her mind racing with a million thoughts, none of them good, "El...?" she said shakily.

"Just lay down." he told her as he climbed on top of her, straddling her.

"El…?" she tried again, this time he pushed down on her shoulders until she was lying down flat on her back. "Elliot, what are you doing?" she cried as she began pounding him with her fists.

Elliot simply seemed to ignore it and pulled at her shirt, she hit him harder and that's when he grabbed hold of her wrists and pinned them down either side of her head. "Elliot, get off me!" she screamed.

"Just shut up and lay still!" he yelled back at her pushing down hard on her wrists before letting them go.

Tears filled her eyes as she tried to push him off her, with no luck whatsoever. "El, please," she begged as he pushed her top up, "Please don't." she begged.

Her heart pounded faster as he just ignored her, glaring at her with cold hard eyes. She wanted to fight him but she really didn't think she had the energy. She was in too much pain. "El, please…" she began, ready to fight him, but she had to suddenly relax slightly when all Elliot's attention was turned to her wound.

He peeled back the blood soaked cloths and wiped away some of the blood with his shirt, trying to examine the wound. "It's just a flesh wound, it's right on your side, if you had been standing a little more to the right I wouldn't have hit you."

"I was trying to run away." she reminded him, having relaxed…slightly.

"Which is why I had to stop you." Elliot said glancing up to look her in the eyes before looking back at her wound. "This is bleeding a-lot but it's not as bad as it looks."

"You shot me, how else would it look?"

"I mean it's just a flesh wound. I don't think its hit any main organs. You'll live." he told her. He was right, it wasn't a deadly wound, she just had a nice chunk of flesh missing out of her side now.

"Staying alive to go through this," she said. "Lucky me," she muttered sarcastically under her breath.

Elliot just looked at her. He was still drunk as hell but he could see what he was doing to her, he knew he needed to stop, let her go, let her get some help for her wound, which thankfully wasn't life threatening right now, even if it was painful as hell for her.

Olivia lay there, looking up at him. He looked into her eyes and could see nothing but pain and fear in them. Fear that he was causing her to feel, pain that he had inflicted on her. He suddenly noticed she was looking into his eyes, he dreaded to think what she was seeing.

Without thinking he leant down until his face was right by hers, so close their lips touched. He kissed her lips, softly at first but he quickly wanted more, so he kissed her harder, getting no reaction back from her. His hands moved over her body. He slid them across her bare stomach, loving the feel of her soft skin. However, forgetting her injury he grabbed a hold of her sides, causing her to scream in pain, hitting him off her as she did.

He fell right off of her and off of the bed, crashing to the floor. Olivia used the chance to get up. She had barely got to her feet and stepped away from the bed when Elliot grabbed hold of her hair and pushed her back down onto the bed, quickly falling on top of her.

"Elliot, get off me, please get off me!" she screamed, her voice muffled by the blankets in which her face was pressed against.

"Then stop trying to get me pissed at you. Do you want me to hurt it is that it! You that used to been abused by people who love you that you piss them off all the more! Do you enjoy this?!"

"Elliot, please just get off me. I won't try and run just please don't touch me. Please." she begged.

The thought of her not even wanting him to touch her in a way that he knew that both of them had thought about, made him even angrier. It also made him think more about just what he was putting her through. He knew he was responsible for making her feel this way and him alone. He quickly pushed his thoughts aside and reached into his back pocket and pulled out the cuffs he had taken off her earlier.

He got up off her and flipped her over. He then grabbed her left arm and pulled it to him and slapped the cuff onto it, knowing it was probably too tight.

"No!" she screamed. The last time someone had slapped a cuff on her it had been to hold her still whilst they tried to rape her. She certainly didn't want that to happen again. "NO!" she screamed even louder, fear causing her voice to shake.

He pulled her up the bed so he could clip the other cuff to the bed frame. He then walked out of the room, leaving Olivia confused and scared. She heard him slamming doors and kicking things or throwing things round. A minute later he reappeared. She noticed he had a box in his hands.

She didn't ask him what it was for, she was too scared of what the answer may be. As he sat down on the bed next to her, she turned her head to face away from him. She didn't want to see whatever he was about to pull out of the box and do to her.

But, when she felt him prod her wound she turned to look. Inside the box was medical equipment like you wound find in a standard first aid kit. She watched as he cleaned the wound with an antiseptic wipe. She could see it was purely just a chunk of skin, the size of a bullet missing out of her side. It looked as ugly as it was painful.

"I'm not the monster you think I am, and I would never touch you if you asked me not to." he said to her before he went silent and just concentrated on fixing up her wound as best he could.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading.**

**What do you think? Please leave a review and let me know.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks again for all the reviews. They're all great.**

**Here's the next part. Sorry it's taken a while to update.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 4**

Olivia woke up, unsure of when she had even fallen asleep. She figured it was probably more like she had passed out from the pain which she was still very much in.

She hadn't forgotten about the cuffs so she looked up to check they were still there, only to find, to her surprise, the cuffs were no longer on her. She immediately pushed herself up off the bed, holding her side which she quickly realized was now nicely and neatly bandaged up. _It still hurt like hell though._

She began walking over to the bedroom door, however, with each step she took she began to feel more and more dizzy. She guessed the blood loss was still affecting her, even though it had seemed to stop. She suddenly lost her footing and fell to the floor with a painful crash.

She slowly rolled onto her back, groaning in pain. Her side was hurting even more now and when she looked she could see blood had begun to seep through the bandage. She cursed herself as she slowly stood up, then she carried on making her way over to the door.

She got over to it and put a shaking hand onto the handle. She opened the door slowly and as quietly as she could. She looked around but she couldn't see Elliot anywhere. She took a deep but shaky breath before she stepped out of the bedroom. She took one more look around for Elliot but still he was nowhere to be seen.

Without really thinking it through she moved over to the front door as quickly as she could. She had just put her hand on the chain when she heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door opened.

She panicked. She hadn't a clue what to do. Her hands were shaking too badly for her to be able to unlock the door. She looked to the side of her, at the bathroom. Elliot stood glaring at her. She looked to the side, into the kitchen. _She quickly had an idea._

"What the hell are you doing?" Elliot snapped.

Olivia ignored his question and ran into the kitchen and ripped open a drawer, reaching in and pulling out the biggest knife she could see.

Elliot slowly walked towards her, a smug look on his face. "What you gonna do with that, Olivia?" he asked as he grabbed an already open bottle of whiskey off the counter, taking a long swig from it.

"Stay away from me, Elliot!" she warned him.

Elliot continued to glare at her, watching as her hands shook as she held the knife pointed at him. He took another long swig from the bottle before slamming it down onto the worktop. Olivia couldn't help but scream as it smashed into a thousand pieces, most of them hitting her.

She then watched as he reached into the back of his belt. Her heart skipped a beat when he pulled out a gun, pointing it at her again. "I win, Olivia. Now, put the knife down."

She shook her head, her eyes filled with tears, her bottom lip trembling. Elliot fired. The bullet hit the cupboard behind her. Her tears burst their banks and rolled down her soft cheeks.

"Put the knife down God-damn-it!" he bellowed at her.

- - - - - -

**_Meanwhile_**

Fin was sat at his desk, his face buried in his hands as he was forced to listen to yet another one of his partner's government conspiracy theories.

"Well at least that's what I believe, and you know why I believe it…" Munch went on.

Fin had never been more relieved to hear his Captains voice.

"Fin, Munch, grab your coats. Shots have been fired." Cragen said quickly and frantically as he stormed through the squad room.

Munch and Fin quickly followed, too intrigued to grab their coats. "At where?" Fin asked.

"Elliot's…" Cragen said, only stopping to wait for the lift doors to open. When they did they all quickly piled in. Looking at one another, all wondering what could be happening, none of them expecting what they were about to find.

- - - - - -

Olivia tired to stop crying and begged her hand to stop shaking. Elliot stood in front of her so calm, so relaxed and she was like a leaf in the wind.

"Olivia, I have the gun. Who do you think will come out best in this latest escape attempt of yours?" Elliot asked her menacingly.

"Shut-up!" she screamed at him, "Back up away from me." she told him.

Elliot just laughed and shook his head.

"Back off, Elliot!" she screamed, her voice shaking as much as her hands.

"Drop the knife!"

Olivia quickly realized this stand off was going to go on forever if she didn't do something. As quickly as she could she launched forward, purposely banging straight into Elliot. She aimed the knife at his arm and dug it in as hard as she could.

He screamed in pain and flung his arm out at her, hitting her in the face with the butt of the gun. She crashed to the floor but she quickly saw that Elliot had dropped the gun when he'd hit her. She threw her body onto it but she had just wrapped her hands on it when she felt the cold metal of the knife on her throat.

"Put it down, get up." she was ordered.

"Easy." she said as she slowly pushed herself up, ignoring any pain her body screamed in. The only thing she didn't ignore was the chance to get the gun.

Once on her feet she managed to twist her body out of his grasp. She quickly turned to face him and pointed the gun at him. The positions had changed, she now stood holding a gun pointed at him and he had the knife.

"Drop the knife, Elliot. Get on the floor with your hands behind your head." she ordered.

"Always the aggressive little cop, aren't you?"

"Shut up and drop the knife!"

"Or what Olivia, you'll shoot me? You wouldn't. You haven't got the balls."

Olivia moved her aim slightly and shot. Elliot roared in pain as the bullet hit his shoulder. "Drop the knife!" Olivia ordered again.

Elliot did as he was told and threw the knife down, however it was only to make it easier for him to run at Olivia, knocking her to the ground. He pinned her there with his body, unfortunately, she had now dropped the gun.

She struggled beneath him but he stayed strong as ever and there was nothing she could do to get him off her. He quickly leaned to the side and picked up the gun and put it right down on her chest. Olivia just looked up at him.

"Why don't you ever just listen." he said to her, "All I want is for you to stay here. Am I that bad to be around?"

"Look at you!" she screamed at him as tears fell down her face. "You're holding me at gun point in your apartment. You've hit me, shot me. This isn't you, Elliot." she cried.

"Then who am I Olivia, cause I don't fucking know anymore." he said, as tears now filled his own eyes.

"This isn't you. The Elliot I know would never do this. You've just drank way too much and you're heartbroken, you're grieving for your family. Please, just let me up. We're both hurt, we both need to go to the hospital." she said, hoping to reason with him.

He sat up on her, still holding the gun against her chest. He looked down at her wound, the bandage was now soaked in blood. He looked up at her face, it was black and blue and bloodied and he'd done it all to her.

He gently stroked her soft cheek with his knuckles, Paying extra care and attention when he got to the cuts and bruises. He leant down and softly placed a kiss on her lips.

"I'm so sorry." he said to her before he got up and reached down to help her up.

He carefully took hold of her, once more placing her arm around his neck as he helped her to walk. He'd just begun making his way over to the door with her when there was a knock on it.

"_Elliot, Elliot, its Don. Are you okay? Open up if you can?"_ Cragen called.

Munch, Fin and Cragen all stood silently in the corridor, awaiting Elliot's reply. It was then that Munch noticed the blood on the wall. He silently tapped the Captain's shoulder, before pointing out the blood to him.

Cragen took it in and knocked harder_. _"Elliot, are you okay?" he called again.

"Someone needs to try ringing Liv again." Munch said. They had tried on the way over and got no reply.

Fin took out his phone and dialed her number. They all froze when they heard her familiar ringtone coming from inside the apartment, "Olivia?!" Cragen yelled as he pounded on the door.

Elliot practically allowed Olivia to drop to the floor before walking over to where her ringing phone rested, _next to her gun._ He picked up her phone and threw it against the wall behind Olivia, the wall she had crawled over to rest against.

"What is this shit?!" Elliot yelled in a rage. He picked up the gun that lay next to him and pointed it at the door, before quickly retracting his arm, slamming the gun down on the counter before running his hands over his face.

"Elliot, please let them in. They just want to talk to you." Olivia said her voice quiet and weak.

"Shut up!"

"Elliot, they'll call for backup and backup will shoot you if they come in here with a gun!" she shouted as loud as she could at him, which wasn't loud at all.

The others could all hear the commotion from outside and had indeed called for back up.

"They'll be here any minute, El." Olivia continued.

"Shut-up!" Elliot screamed at her as he picked up her gun again and pointed it right at her. It was now that she saw the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"So what if they kill me. I have no one anymore, I have nothing to live for anymore." he said, unable not to shout it.

"El, please…" Olivia begged. She wanted her partner to get help. She didn't want to see him shot and most likely killed.

Within seconds they could both hear the sirens that were approaching. Elliot pointed the gun at her still, moving closer, spinning on his heels as his door was barged down. Moving like lightning he grabbed Olivia, pulling her up in front of him, holding her gun against her temple. _He wasn't even thinking now._

The others all stood still, holding their guns aimed at Elliot.

"Elliot, put the gun down." Cragen said, speaking softly, trying not to make it sound too much like a command.

"You called for back up?" Elliot asked.

"We had to El, we heard a shot, shouting. What's gone on here?" Fin said. He could see Olivia, more precisely the blood that covered her, as well as the blood on Elliot.

"I don't know," Elliot said, smiling, like it was all some joke. "It all just got so fucked up." he said, suddenly serious.

"Elliot, look at Olivia, she's hurt pretty bad. Just let me take her." Munch said, lowering his gun and stepping forward slightly.

However, Elliot quickly stepped backwards, pressing the gun harder against Olivia's head. "I know she's hurt. I hurt her," he said, his voice full of guilt, "I hurt them all." he said, his voice now dripping with guilt.

"Elliot, what happened to your family was just an unfortunate accident." Cragen said knowingly, "I was just a freak accident that no one could have known about and no one could have stopped."

"I drove them away." he said.

"No. Elliot, don't do this. Don't blame yourself." Cragen continued.

Elliot didn't answer him. He was choking on his tears, on his guilt. "Who do I blame for Olivia, ha? I shot her. I hit her. Me, no one else."

"Elliot…" Olivia began, too weak to be able to say what she wanted to how confidently she wanted to. "I…I…don't…b…blame….you…" she stuttered. "I forgive…you, El…."

Elliot nuzzled his face against his partners. He hated how she forgave him, even after he had put her through so much. "Forgive me one last time." he whispered to her.

Moving quickly, he pushed Olivia into the others before turning the gun on himself.

"Elliot, no!" Olivia cried out.

A single shot rang out, echoing around the apartment…

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please leave a review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Once again sorry that this has taken so long to update but I've been having issues with my computer, which I am sure is from the Stone Age, and I've been sick as a dog. All in all things ain't great at the moment.**

**Anywhooo…**

**Here it is. The last chapter, told ya it was a short one.**

**The song used in this chapter is called Fallen and it's by Sarah McLachlan, most of you will probably know it, those who don't look it up on youtube or something, its awesome. I based this story around the song so felt it was only appropriate to use it in this final chapter. Originally I had planned on using it throughout this story but I went with this idea instead.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Neither are the lyrics (which are in bold italics.)  
**

**Chapter 5  
**

_6 months later_

Olivia was stood waiting in the relative's room. She hated hospitals of any kind but this one especially, even with it being as nice as it was, her reason being because it was and had been home to Elliot for the last six months. Ever since the night at his apartment

It was only thanks to Fin's good aim that things had turned out how they did. Fin had shot, hitting Elliot in the shoulder, causing him to release her and hit the deck. His gun had gone off but no one else had been hurt, luckily. He'd been badly injured but from what she had been told had recovered quickly, her recovery, however, hadn't been quite so quick, but she was okay now.

Now she stood waiting, nervous as a kid on their first day of school. She hadn't seen him since the time in his apartment and she sure as hell never wanted to see him like that again ever. The others, who had seen him, had told her about how he was but she still didn't know what to expect.

"Miss Benson," a voice suddenly said from behind her.

Olivia spun around to face the door. She watched as the nurse who had spoken to her stepped aside, there, stood behind her, was Elliot.

Olivia couldn't help but stare at him, speechless. Elliot could only stare sheepishly back at her.

"I'll leave you two have some time to talk." The nurse said, "You've got 90 minutes Elliot then I want you back in your room." She warned.

Elliot just glanced at her and nodded, accepting the terms of the visit.

With that, the nurse walked out, leaving them both alone. For a minute they were both just stood, silently. Then, Elliot spoke, "Do you want to take a walk?" he asked Olivia.

**_Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire_**

She just half smiled and nodded, not yet knowing what to say to him, even if she had planned it out before hand and did have like a million things that she wanted to ask him.

_  
**Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight**_

- - - - - -

Elliot and Olivia strode silently along, side by side, almost close enough to be touching but neither of them daring enough to actually close the small gap.

Finally, unable to take the silence any longer, Olivia spoke up. "Why have you finally agreed to see me, I mean, I've been sending visitation requests to you for months? What made you change your mind?" she asked.

**_Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear_**

Elliot, who was seemingly finding his feet very interesting, didn't answer her. Instead he studied his feet even further. He wasn't ignoring her, but he also wasn't about to answer her either. "You look well." he said to her.

Olivia just nodded. Of course she looked well to him. Last time he had seen her she was battered and bruised and covered in blood, and all thanks to him. But really, she felt anything but well.

Deciding to copy what he had done, she quickly changed the subject. "This is a nice place." she said.

"Sure, it's not too bad for a place full of crazy people. First class Looney bin." he said sarcastically.

"Elliot, you're not crazy and this isn't a Looney bin." Olivia reminded him.

"Yeah, so the others have told me." he said. "It's a place for me to rest and get the counseling I need to allow me to play a safe and positive role in society again." he said, obviously quoting what he had been told too many times.

"Elliot, you're not crazy." Olivia said again, more firmly.

"Yeah, you're right, only sane people beat and shoot their partners." he said before striding off ahead off her.

**_Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so..._**

Olivia quickened her pace to reach him again. "Elliot, you did what you did because you were drunk and you were grieving."

"How can you make excuses for me, Liv? What I did to you was unimaginable. For that I deserve to be here."

"Yeah, what you did was unimaginable, but you couldn't help yourself."

By this point they had stopped talking and were face to face with one and other. "How can you forgive and forget after what I did to you?" he asked her, looking into her amazingly brown eyes, eyes that not so long ago it seemed he had looked into and seen filled with fear and pain…that he had caused.

"I haven't forgotten, I'll never forget, but I have learnt to forgive you. El, the only family I ever had was my mother and well, we both know how that relationship was, but I was still so lost when she died. So I could only imagine what it must have felt like to have lost your entire family at once… family that actually did love you." she said.

**_We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
The past could be undone  
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals  
The lonely light of morning  
The wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
That I have held so dear._**

"Liv, I am so, so very sorry for what I did to you. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about the shit that I put you through and I hate myself for what I did. You may have forgiven me but I will never forgive myself for what I did to you." he said still looking into her eyes. He was trying to show her just how much he truly meant his words.

**_I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so..._**

"Elliot, it was in the past. You're never gonna recover if you can't move on. You're not a bad person. You're not an evil person. You wanna know what your problem is? You're too hard on yourself. You hold every emotion in till they literally erupt from you." she said.

Elliot knew she was right. "That's what this place is trying to teach me to do. Let things go before they turn to boiling hot larva and destroy everything around me. It's just hard, Liv. My whole life I was taught to be strong. My father wouldn't let me show emotion because that was weakness. If I showed weakness then I was nothing. Then I met Kathy, the kids came along, and I had to be strong for them…"

"And who was being strong for you?" she asked

**_Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
You'll slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed _**

Elliot just looked at her. He didn't have an answer for that. He turned slowly, spotting a bench. He went and sat down on it. Olivia walked over and sat down next to him. She watched as he lowered his head and covered his face with his hands.

When she knew for sure that he was in fact crying she reached out and placed her hand lightly on his back, slowly and softly rubbing soothing circles. Elliot sat up and turned to face her before quickly wrapping his arms around her waist, burying his face against her chest and letting it all go.

Olivia was more than shocked for a minute, but unable to stop herself she wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his head and held him and just let him do what he had needed to do for as long as she could remember and that was to be human, to cry, to show vulnerability and not give a damn. It broke her heart to see it but she knew it was indeed the best thing for him.

"Liv, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to you, I'm sorry to Kathy, I'm sorry to my kids and to everyone else." he cried.

"We know." she said, fighting back her own tears.

- - - - - -

The walk back to the relative's room was filled with chatter about goings on at the precinct, things like Fin and Munch's squabbling, Munch's conspiracy theories, Elliot's part time replacement who had the organization skills of a two year old.

They both couldn't help but think that the 90 minutes had just flown by, neither really wanted to leave the other, but they both knew Elliot still had a way to go.

"So," Olivia began, "Same time next week?"

Elliot nodded and smiled, it was the first time she had seen him smile and look like he meant it is what seemed like forever, it made her smile too. "I'd like that. Maybe you could sneak me in some donuts too. Not only do they watch your sanity in this place but your diet too."

Olivia just laughed. "Okay." she said.

They both stood there, looking at one and other till it started to become a little awkward. "Okay, well I should go other wise they may send out a search party looking for you." Olivia said.

"Yeah, I guess." Elliot replied.

_  
**Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...**_

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Okay, well I'll see you next week." she said, taking a slow step back.

"You promise?" Elliot asked.

"I promise." she told him.

Elliot stepped forward and once again wrapped his arms around her and she held him back once more.

"Thanks." he said softly to her.

"Anytime partner." she said back to him.

**The end**

**Thanks so much for reading.**

**I would just like to say I'm genuinely sorry about the lengthy updates, and that you guys are all really awesome for sticking this out and still taking the time to review. I genuinely appreciate it.**

**One last review would really make my day and make me feel heaps better.**


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